Choosing a Guardian for Your Minor Children

For those of us who are parents of young children, it is difficult to imagine becoming separated from them. Although it is tempting to avoid thinking about what would happen to our children should we become unable to care for them, it is our responsibility as parents to provide for our children’s care, both when we are with them, and when we are not.

Establishment of the Guardianship. Should you and your children’s other parent become unable to care for your children, a guardianship will be established for them by the court. You can have a say in who is appointed to serve as guardian of your children by specifying your wishes in a will and/or trust. If the court does not have written evidence of your wishes, it will receive evidence as to who would be best suited to care for your children. If no one comes forward with sufficient evidence in a timely manner, your children will be placed in the care of the foster care system. Even if friends or relatives step forward to give opinions as to who should care for your child, absent evidence of your wishes, it is up to the court to weigh the opinions of witnesses and place your child with whomever it deems most suitable. Clearly, the best scenario is for you, the parent, to make the decision of who should care for your children. A short paragraph in your will is all that is required.

Who Should Be the Guardian? Parents often have trouble choosing a guardian. Stay open minded. Acknowledge to yourself that the best caregiver for your child is you – and move on to your “B” list. Family members and close friends who have a relationship with your child are the most obvious choices, but remember that the most important criteria address whether the potential guardian shares your values and child-rearing philosophy. You may want to consider these qualities in a potential guardian:

• Age of the potential guardian
• Maturity
• Patience
• Parenting philosophy and style
• Presence of other children in the guardian’s home
• Interest in and relationships with your children
• Integrity
• Stability
• Ability to meet the physical demands of child care
• Presence of enough “free” time to raise children
• Religious beliefs
• Social and moral values
• Marital or family status
• Potential conflicts of interest with your children
• Willingness to serve
• Willingness to adopt your children
• Educational values
• Style of showing affection
• Location

If you realize that none of your initial candidates are aligned with your parenting style and values, widen your net to include people who did not initially come to mind. These candidates may include neighbors, co-workers, or more distant relatives. Do not worry that close family members may be hurt if you do not choose them; remember that the most important thing is finding the best caregiver for your child. Further, don’t let a potential guardian’s lack of financial resources unduly limit your list of candidates; a well-crafted estate plan can provide funds for your children’s support to be held in trust for their benefit, as well as a monetary gift to your guardian so that he/she can purchase a larger home, expand his/her existing home, or move into your home. Lastly, a well-drafted estate plan can include informal, written directions to the trustee of your children’s trusts setting forth guidelines as to what type of expenditures may be made by the guardian for your children’s benefit as they grows older, such as money for graduate school, a wedding, or to start a business. Your estate plan can include as much financial support and guidance for your children’s guardian as you desire to provide.

I hope this article will assist you in undertaking the important task of nominating a guardian for your children. I think you will find that having a will that includes a guardianship nomination will provide you with great peace of mind.

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